Episode Transcript
[00:00:15] Speaker A: Well, hey, everyone. Welcome to Love Y' All get out conversations to help you get out and live the mission. My name is Chad and I'll be your host today. And I'm so thankful that you've joined us. I want you to know that every time you press play on Love Y' All get out, what you'll get is something that will encourage and challenge your faith.
Sometimes we'll take a deeper dive into Sunday's sermon. Sometimes we'll hear stories of faith from people in our community and sometimes we'll just talk church. We'll just talk those ideas and decisions that we need to make together as a community of faith. Really the decisions and ideas that help us give strength to and gain strength from one another. And really, over the next several weeks, we're going to be hitting one topic that's really the same. We're starting a series called Influencers. And when I say influencers, I don't really mean those people online that are kind of mysterious and crazy and they get all the likes, shares and comments. I'm really talking about the people who are closest to you, the people under your own roof or maybe in your extended family or in your community that may or may not be in exactly the same generation you're in, but in all honesty, probably have more influence in your life and you have more influence with them than anyone else. And so we're going to be talking about that for the next several weeks. And today I'm really excited. I've got some friends here. This is Kim and Mason Orr. Thank you guys so much for joining me today. I'm so glad you could be a part of this.
Always good to get to hang out together. And so thanks, thanks for being here today. Now I know you guys, I know you guys have been together for a little while. Tell me, how did y', all, how did y' all meet and how did you get. Tell me your engagement story. How did you fall in love?
[00:01:49] Speaker B: Okay, well, let's start.
Kim is a cougar. Let's start with that.
She is four and a half years older than me.
[00:01:58] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:01:59] Speaker B: And so we met.
[00:02:00] Speaker A: Cradle robbers.
[00:02:01] Speaker B: Yes, exactly.
[00:02:02] Speaker C: And proud of it.
[00:02:03] Speaker B: And proud of this.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: Way to go.
[00:02:04] Speaker B: So we met through a college ministry that at the time Kim worked for and I was involved with.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: That's great. How long have you been married now?
[00:02:13] Speaker B: We've been married for seven years. It'll be eight in March.
[00:02:16] Speaker A: That's incredible. And tell me about your kids. How many kids do you have?
[00:02:19] Speaker C: Got Two kids. A four year old girl Maxie, she's so fun and spunky. And then a two year old boy, Maverick.
He is a real sweetheart. He's all boy, though.
[00:02:30] Speaker B: Yeah. You've probably seen him lumber around church. He has a really deep voice too.
[00:02:35] Speaker A: He's already got his beard.
[00:02:38] Speaker C: His beard like his dad.
[00:02:39] Speaker A: I have to confess, I'm just envious of guys who can grow beards. When I grow a beard, I look like a chihuahua that lost a fight with a cat. It's terrible.
[00:02:47] Speaker B: It's just not good. But it's one of my best talents.
[00:02:50] Speaker A: It's good to be talented. So do you live now anywhere near your parents or anybody like that?
[00:02:56] Speaker C: Yeah, we live near Mason's parents and sister and then all my siblings and my mom live genuinely, like pretty close within 40 minutes.
[00:03:04] Speaker A: So that's great.
[00:03:05] Speaker C: Yeah, we wanted to be around everybody, so it's pretty perfect.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: Very cool. So you said you worked for Student Mobilization at ou? What are some of you guys?
And you also said it was a time when OU and OSU were beginning to do some ministry things together. What was that like?
[00:03:21] Speaker B: Yes, I was just a campus staff member and I did the same thing. So we go into fraternities and sororities. That was kind of our target demographic. And we would build friendships and build a lot of trust. We do things like leadership studies, character development and then transition those relationships to presenting the gospel to them.
And then from there it was a lot of just establishing new believers in their faith. So, you know, teaching them, hey, here's how you read your Bible, here's how you pray. This is, you know, what it looks like to share your faith and walk with God.
[00:03:59] Speaker A: And so between you guys and the students you were leading, what was the age difference there?
[00:04:06] Speaker B: I guess four or five years.
[00:04:07] Speaker C: Yeah.
Yeah. It got up to 10 years though for me, or 15 because I did it for 10 years and they were freshmen, so.
[00:04:15] Speaker A: Yeah. That's awesome.
[00:04:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: Thanks so much for what you guys have done through Stumo and just through that time period. I love hearing that you still have relationships with some of those guys and girls like that.
[00:04:25] Speaker C: So grateful for that time.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: It's really beautiful.
[00:04:26] Speaker C: It was amazing.
[00:04:27] Speaker A: I love that.
So I said a minute ago that over the next several weeks we're talking about that passage of Scripture in First John, Chapter two, where it's talking about different generations of people. We want to be a church that equips people of all ages to serve one another.
And so we're taking a look at our more mature generation. We're going to take A look at our kids and the younger generation.
But you guys are right in the middle, right? I think people call that the sandwich generation. And sometimes for some people, it's like the club sandwich, right? You've got kids, you're the parents, then there's your parents, and then there's your grandparents. And somewhere in the middle, you're trying to figure out and navigate all of these relationships and all of these opportunities.
I know that can be complicated. Are there things. What are some things that you guys have seen? Just as you've gotten. As you stepped into that stage of life, what are some things you've seen that you think are unique to this stage of life for you all, rather than some things you've experienced in the past?
[00:05:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I think the main thing is expectations.
We moved to Tulsa Owasso to be around our family.
That was something that was really important to us, something that we really desired.
But with that, now, every time there's a family plan or anything, there's the expectation that, you know, we will be there or, you know, and we'd love to be in all those things. But Kim comes from a big family, which is one of seven.
My family, I just have a sister, but they're right down the road, and sister, parents, and grandma are all right there.
And so there's just a lot going on a lot of the time. And so there's a lot of expectations to just be at events, and, you know, we really like that. And. But there's a lot.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: It's challenging to be pulled in what feels like a thousand directions all at the same time.
I sure understand that. How do you guys navigate that together? How do you guys, like, when you know that you've got your kids schedule and you've got your extended family schedule, and you've got somewhere in there is the stuff y' all want to do. How do you guys prioritize that? How do you do that?
[00:06:48] Speaker C: Such a good question. I think we're still working at figuring that out, but we try to do our best at knowing what our priorities are, so making sure we're. We're doing good with our walk with God, we're doing good with our marriage, doing good with our kids, and then our next priority is, like, family and friends, like, with our small group. And so just trying to decide, like, would this be a wise investment of our time or would it not be? We obviously want to be at everything, and we want to be around our family, be around our friends, and be able to serve them and spend time with them.
But, yeah, sometimes it's not wise for our time because we're just so busy, but we're still trying to figure it out. Sometimes we don't make the best decision.
We try really hard.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: I'm not sure that it's always about best decisions, simply because there's so many pressures that are pulling on you or pushing on you all at the same time. So that's a really good answer. And I think sometimes that's something people struggle with. How do I prioritize when you have a good set of priorities, from core values down to family values, and you can identify where your preferences are?
It's amazing how that gives you a standard that helps you evaluate every apparent distraction, because sometimes a distraction is an opportunity, and sometimes it's just a distraction. But having those core values, family values, and knowing where the preferences are can really help you navigate that. And so what are some.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: You mentioned family values. It's something that's actually pretty important to us, and we actually took some time and came up with our own kind of. Or family values.
[00:08:28] Speaker A: That's cool.
[00:08:29] Speaker B: And a lot of the. Yeah, how we prioritize, a lot of it goes back to those values. And so our kind of mission statement is like, our core word is fight.
It's a good word.
[00:08:41] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:08:42] Speaker B: So we fight for our family, and we fight for God to make him known and to know him and love him and serve him. And so that's an acronym.
Faithfulness, intentionality, generosity, hunger, and toughness.
And so toughness normally comes up in, like, parenting or, you know, doing family chores or yard work or just doing stuff we don't want to do, but
[00:09:10] Speaker C: comes up a lot.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: Yeah, I would imagine.
[00:09:12] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:13] Speaker A: You have the grit to just get up and go.
[00:09:15] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:09:16] Speaker B: Intentionality, generosity, hunger, I think have really. Has really been something that's helped us to make decisions, to sacrifice time for, you know, our plans, maybe because you're right, we're in this sandwich generation and we understand that, you know, that's just a season that, you know, it's not going to be all of my life that I'm going to have my grandparents, my parents, my kids, you know, right there at my fingertips.
[00:09:52] Speaker C: So try to be intentional about making the most about being in the season. And hopefully we try to be intentional every season of life to make the most of what season we're in.
[00:10:00] Speaker A: Yeah, that's really. That's really good. So how did you. Fight's a good word. The acronym is great. How did you, as a family decide, you know, we should have A word. We should have an acronym. We should have a mission.
[00:10:11] Speaker C: Well, we just, we went on a marriage retreat and we.
I think we just saw the importance with. I think a lot of it was the ministry we worked with the stumo seeing the vision statement, like there is very clear what our vision statement was. And it helped us be able to go on campus and meet with these students and stay focused. And we really wanted to stay focused as a family.
And so, yeah, we just prayed about it. I had ideas of, like, things I wanted to be in our family, like motto or a priority to us. And he kind of helped me form like, you know, help put it all together.
But he came up with fight. And I loved it because I'm all about like, okay, yeah, let's do this.
And it's fun to teach our kids.
[00:10:53] Speaker A: Oh yeah, it's always good to teach our kids.
[00:10:55] Speaker C: It's more fun to say fight than
[00:10:56] Speaker B: to say, exactly, yeah, stop being a baby.
I don't know.
[00:11:01] Speaker C: That's way more fun to be our family. Word.
[00:11:03] Speaker A: That's really, really good. So when it comes to other generations, I know I've been blessed by the wisdom of people who are older than me. I've been challeng by the vision of people younger than me.
What are some things you wish that other generations knew about the stage of life you're in that they just. Whether it's a strength or a challenge that you face, something that you could offer that they're just not paying attention to, something that you need that you wish they could see, what's something in the stage you're in that might be helpful for them?
[00:11:35] Speaker C: One thing that comes to my mind right away is I feel like we're a very, very passionate generation. I feel like in general, and I think a lot of us love. I mean, obviously we love to be influenced. And I think a big need is just to be discipled.
I think of like Luke 6:10, it says, no student is above his teacher, but everyone will be like his teacher. And that's challenged me for years because it clearly we are following something and we're going to be like it.
And so it's always been important to me to make sure I try to be influenced by the Bible, most importantly. But I need Christian women in my life pointing me to be a better wife, a better mom, better just believer.
And I think a lot of young moms. I'm gonna speak for young moms. I'm sure men do too, but want that and speak.
[00:12:26] Speaker B: I don't speak for the young Moms,
[00:12:27] Speaker C: you're speak for the young moms, too.
[00:12:29] Speaker A: It's always good to speak for young men.
[00:12:30] Speaker C: We want that. It's just hard to find sometimes. And so, yeah, I think we're open to learning and we're open to hearing from other people. We really take value in being taught things and being pushed. I think we love to be challenged this generation does, or, you know, just kind of be able to think and figure out what we believe. And so I found that to be true with a lot of my friends and just a lot of girls that I grew up with, women that I grew up with, that we really do want to be influenced towards Jesus. It's just hard because of all the other external influences in the world. We've got a lot fighting for our attention. So.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: Yeah, that's really good. Do you think that's true for men as well, or is it. How would you characterize it?
[00:13:13] Speaker B: Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I think as men in our kind of season of life, we're feeling a lot of pressures. For the first time, we are having to provide for our wives and for our kids.
We're an interesting point in our careers where we're not the intern anymore.
We're not the seasoned vet either, but we're just kind of the workhorses. And so there's a lot of pressure to provide, to kind of be the.
You know, the. Like I said that the workhorse that is doing the right things and not complaining and just kind of showing up. And that is a.
Not a subtle adjustment in life.
[00:14:04] Speaker A: No, it kind of comes like a Mack truck.
[00:14:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it really does.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: And part of what I've noticed just in. Because I'm still in this generation, right where I've got my kids are older, but they're not all out of the home yet. And then I've still got my mom and brother and extended family. And there is kind of a relentless nature to the pressure of availability and attention. And there's something that always. It's either something that needs to be fixed or someone that needs to just have a conversation. And you want to do them all.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:39] Speaker A: But there's such pressure there to go. When do I breathe?
[00:14:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:14:42] Speaker A: When do I have some downtime?
[00:14:44] Speaker B: And going back to that idea of discipleship and mentorship, I found that to be just a really healthy, healthy outlet for myself of getting to talk to older men.
I meet with Rob Rizzo and Chris Wall. I'm super blessed by them because they're just a kind of a safe outlet for me to, you know, hey, here's what's going on in my life. And feel like I'm drowning or whatever. And they're like, oh, yeah, I know that feeling.
[00:15:13] Speaker A: Been there.
[00:15:14] Speaker C: Yeah. And they can pray for you. Yeah.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: And, you know, are texting me throughout the week and just ask them, you know, how are you doing? And that is really encouraging and really good for me. And it's good for all men.
[00:15:26] Speaker A: It really is. It's good for people, because I've heard you both say it. And one of the things you've heard us talk about in the life of our church is that we believe that discipleship is really the process of one Christ follower helping another Christ follower follow Christ. And I think your perspective partly is interesting because of your work with Stumo.
You weren't that much older than the students that you were leading when you got started.
And so often I know people will go, I don't know enough.
I'm not old enough. I can't possibly. Because what if they ask me a question I don't know the answer to? I don't think that's the point. I think I've taken one step different from you in my faith, and you've taken another step different from me in your faith. And so through conversations like these, I hear things that I go, oh, I. I can learn from that, or I can be encouraged by that. And then I can say something that. That does the same thing in reverse. And it's just those relationships and those conversations that help us. That's another idea that I think sometimes I think, especially guys struggle with this.
We're not always looking for a mentor. We're not always looking for a counselor.
We seem to be comfortable with the idea of a coach.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:40] Speaker A: And.
And from my perspective, the coaches in my life have always been the men who. They can see what I can't, they can say what I won't. And they're often doing that to draw out of me the best of who I am.
And sometimes I'm being too hard on myself, and they offer encouragement. And sometimes I've just got blind spots that I can't see, and they can.
And so to be surrounded by people of a variety of ages, some older, some younger, some who are a little further in their faith, some who are a little behind us in their faith, not that they're delinquent in that, but to be surrounded by that and to deliberately. Intentionally. It's such a good word. To intentionally initiate those conversations isn't just helpful for me. It's helpful for all of Us. I think that's.
[00:17:30] Speaker C: Yeah. And I think even like, yes, yes. Further in their faith and, you know, leading people, you're a little further in their faith. But also just think stages of life, like I have had gotten so much value from.
I think, I mean, you can lead anybody. I think you're right. Like, anybody who's following Jesus can lead anybody, because we're never gonna know all the answers.
But just them raising their kids and learning lessons from God along the way and then teaching me now before I get there is just so helpful. Or just, you know, helping me love Mason or enjoy my role as a
[00:18:02] Speaker B: wife, it's pretty hard.
[00:18:04] Speaker C: So that's the easy part.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: That's the easy part.
[00:18:07] Speaker C: But there's so much value. Yeah, there's so much value in just learning from every generation. Multi, generational. I think you're right. You get vision from the younger generation, but then you get like wisdom from the older generation. That has brought so much value to my life.
[00:18:22] Speaker B: If I could just say one thing to the older generation would be also just to kind of have that be a two way street of initiation.
You know, there's a lot of guys I know that would love to go out and get coffee with some older guys in our church or in our community. And sometimes it's just hard for someone to go up and ask someone they don't know or barely know. But, hey, go get. So to the older generation, if, you know, some guys ask them to go get coffee, and I bet most of them will say yes.
But I do think, you know, ultimately you're responsible kind of for yourself. And so to my generation, I would say embrace the awkward. Yeah, ask a guy. When Rob and I first met, I was leaving the church and I was driving to my house and he was in the kind of like, far parking lot. I don't know what he was doing. I don't know if he was praying or doing something, but I drove past him and I was like, oh, I think that's Rob Rizzo. I was like, I'm supposed to meet him. And so I drove past him. I was like, no, that is him. So I just turned around and pulled up and I was like, hey, your name's Rob, right?
And then we've been meeting together for a while now. That's awesome. Been awesome. I love it.
[00:19:38] Speaker A: You know, sometimes I get to be the minister of announcements, and sometimes during that moment, I'll say that we believe that every great friendship begins with an introduction. That's exactly what you just said. Hey, it might have been awkward. It might have been funny. But you took a moment to introduce yourself. Rob introduced yourself or introduced himself, and now there's this great friendship that's become a mentor kind of relationship where you're giving strength to and gaining strength from one another.
And I really just love that. And I think that's part of the power that's unique to this generation, this stage of life that you're in, because you're connecting an older generation with a younger generation.
And you have a unique season where you get to do that.
And, you know, it seems like when we're younger, the season can't get here fast enough. And then once you're in it, it's a struggle, and then you're out of it, and you look back and you're like, where did all of that go?
And so I appreciate that you guys are doing your best to make the most of it. I'm grateful for the encouragement that you've given to so many people. Thanks for being a part of this today. I'm grateful for your time.
You've done such a great job. I'm so grateful for you guys. And I just want to say thank you guys for tuning in today. And I hope that. That you won't just listen to this one, but that you'll press subscrib so that you can connect with future episodes and maybe even go back and listen to some of our previous episodes. The last episode, Jim Breese, who is from a different stage of life, was talking about that generation that does have wisdom and experience. And then in a couple of weeks from now, you'll hear from someone who's in that younger generation. And we're going to connect with all of these things every Sunday morning for the next few weeks. And so we'd love to have you and love for you to be a part of that. But between now and then, you can continue to live your faith and live it well. You can find people who you can mentor or be mentored by and encouraged and encouraged by. And in between now and then, I love y'.
[00:21:39] Speaker C: All.
[00:21:40] Speaker A: Get out.
